Some of the important questions about postpartum that are not usually talked about are all about sex: when is the right time to have sex again after giving birth, why am I always "not in the mood" for it, will I get my "groove" back, is it okay to do it or should we wait? For some moms, they can feel guilty for even asking, let alone thinking, about it because of this notion that once the baby arrives, all their needs should only be secondary to the baby's needs. Mamas, it's okay to ask these questions... and in today's blog, we'll be answering them.
The right time to have sex after childbirth
Six weeks: That’s the standard timeline generally followed when talking about how long women should wait to have sex after giving birth. But since no two women’s postpartum experience is the same, there couldn’t be a “right time” for everyone. Some might have had a smooth delivery and healed sooner than six weeks, while others may find it too soon if they still have pain and discomfort around their bodies, regardless of the delivery method.
And while it is important to always consult your doctor when it’s okay to jump back under the sheets for some action, it is best to always listen to your body, take things slow, and see if you are really ready for it.
Effects of pregnancy and childbirth to your sex drive
Ever wondered why you wanted to have sex so much when you were pregnant? That’s because the levels of estrogen and progesterone become extremely high to support your baby’s development while in your womb, thus spiking up your sex drive. But once you give birth, these levels drop to a certain extent that you may not have the desire for sex for weeks or months. Don't panic, this is normal as you go through these changes to your body and as you heal post-delivery. Your hormones will return to pre-pregnancy levels during your recovery period and you will most definitely have that drive again.
Reasons Why You’re Not Into Sex after Birth
It can be due to physical and/or psychological factors.
- Sleep deprivation from caring for the baby
- Pain during intercourse
- Breastfeeding which keeps estrogen levels low
- Vaginal dryness
- Fear of getting pregnant again
- Self-conscious about the changes in their body
- Postpartum depression
While you might experience any of the above-mentioned factors, it wouldn’t last forever. These factors are the body’s way to prevent another subsequent pregnancy too soon.
When will I get my sex drive back?
If you just give yourself time to heal and adjust to every change that’s happening, you will want to have sex again. Taking a break from sex after pregnancy is not only a good thing but necessary as well. A lot of women find postpartum sex better and more enjoyable than they did before they became parents. So just be patient and who knows, you might just have your best sex yet. 😉
Bringing back your sex life after giving birth
If you feel ready to start getting intimate with your partner again, here are some tips you can follow to get your sex life back:
- Wait until you’re ready.
- Make time for you and your partner alone, without the baby.
- Share a glass of wine with your partner or engage in a sensual massage to heat things up.
- Take it slow. Spend time kissing, cuddling, and touching until both of you feel aroused.
- Use water-based lubricants.
- Explore different positions until you find the one you’re most comfortable with. (Consult your doctor if pain persists.)
- Try to make a schedule for lovemaking. Looking forward to a scheduled sex can help spice things up and make you feel excited about it.
- Keep open communication with your partner on what works for both of you.
- Take it easy and have fun!
If you’re ever unsure about anything with regards to having sex after giving birth, make sure to contact your healthcare provider. 😉